U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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