Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
