i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
