There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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