Reggie can tackle my bush.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
