Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
