some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize