you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
