They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You were trust falling into bushes
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
