I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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