I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
