You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
