Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize