So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize