okay pat passed out under dana's car
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
