eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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