And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
