she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
