If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
