my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
