i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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