Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
