Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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