hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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