people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
