do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize