I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
