I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
