Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
