What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
