my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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