i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
