You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
