I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
