THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
