we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
