come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
