A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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