Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
