im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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