Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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