sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize