the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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