Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
