Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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