Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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