Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
