Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize