Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize