we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
