...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
