i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
