She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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