its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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