Kiss
Puke
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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