just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
