Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My liver just had a heart attack.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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