Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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