Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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