47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
