oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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