He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
