What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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